Don's father always said that half a fire hydrant was better than none.
Don agreed with his father about most things, but not this. Whenever he encountered anything less than a complete hydrant he went wild. He knew these were tough economic times, but he felt that the Mayor of Pigtown went too far with the half-hydrants thing.
Were they for putting out half a fire?
Were they for relieving half a bladder?
Don liked rhetorical questions as much as the next pig, but they didn't help the situation.
But what would? An angry letter to the Mayor? Patricide? A stiff drink? Comfort slop? Meaningless sex?
Don went on to try them all, with mixed results.